How to be a Pop Star

A Review of Faithfull

Be seventeen, blonde, big boobs. Be at a great party. Be willing.

Pose like a wallflower and spout non sequiturs when spoken to. Have sense enough to know who the big boys are. Be the last to leave.

Blow all your money on great clothes. Blow all your money on blow. Look great with his coat.

For thirty years live life as a movie. Think "Weekend at Bernie's" with Bernie played by Marianne. Come out of your coma with a mystique rather than a reputation.

It only took me a chapter to see how I'd blown my chance. At seventeen I had all the same stuff, but let's face it, I'd never be at the same party with Michael Stype, Jello Biafra, and Prince.

So I spent my youth teaching school and raising kids, and Marianne spent hers on smack. But she's lived to write about it, and she's not looking too bad. Still got most of her stuff, and she's got a generation on me.

I've got a great hat, and a hot set of go-go boots. Nowadays it's not so hard to run into Jello.